Just a few weeks ago, in a discussion of literature in one of my
classes, my female professor made this comment in response to a girl
who had dared to mention the
topic of a wife's submission to her husband: "Submission is such
a gendered word. It's only
used to refer to women. Why don't we ever hear anything about husbands
submitting to their wives?!"
My first thought was, "Because it's not in the Bible, duh."
I mean, we're at a Christian university I think we ought to know
that...
However, this got me thinking, even in Christian circles where
submission is believed to be what wives ought to do, it is often
embraced grudgingly. When do we ever hear it talked about in glowing
terms? Instead it's that "thing that we have to do," as if
"What was God thinking when He put that in there?" Isn't it
true that Christian women largely tend to feel slighted by God because
of the instruction to submit to their husbands?
I'd like to share something I learned in my theology classes last Fall
that radically changed the way I look at wifely submission.
First, a lesson about the Trinity is necessary. The Trinity, of
course, consists of Father, Son, and Holy Spirit; each is a distinct
person and yet, each is fully God and has the same divine attributes.
Even though they are completely
equal, in every possible way, the Son and the Holy Spirit
submit to God the Father.
Jesus submitted to the Father in coming to earth and before His
crucifixion, He submitted His will to the Father's saying
"Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my
will, but yours be done" (Luke 22:42).
The Holy Spirit also submits to the Son and the Father; He must go
where and when they send Him, as many verses testify (Luke 24:49, John
14:26, Gal 4:6 to name a few).
If the Trinity can practice submission within it's persons, submission
must not be a horrible,
annoying nuisance to be complied with. Instead, it must be awe-inspiringly
beautiful, because God is the author of beauty and perfection.
Something that He practices cannot
be vile.
Before I go on, let me say that I believe that women and men in
reference to their souls and personhood are completely 100% equal.
They share the same attributes that are common to all people:
emotions, a will, etc. I do believe that there are physical
differences between them, however, and that these are there so that
they might fulfill their God-given roles. But apart from this they are
equal. A man is not of more value than a woman in God's eyes. That is
not what submission is about.
It is not because the man is physically stronger that women are to be
submissive; it is not because he could dominate her if he wanted to.
Instead, submission is to be a voluntary giving-over of will. That was
what Jesus did in the garden before His death. He let God know what
His will was (to take the cup from him if He could), but He ultimately
put it into God's hands. Because of this, I don't think that
submission is about not having a will of your own. It's not that the
wife no longer has any opinions or will, it's that she has a will and
yet she still chooses
to put it under her
husband's.
To me, this is so beautiful.
To have the opportunity to do something that God Himself does and bear
witness to who He is, is amazing! The thought that my submission to my
husband can point to God and bring Him glory is astounding. What a
responsibility we've been given!
Though I'm not married yet, I have been learning this hard lesson of
submission over the past two years in my courtship, so I know this
isn't easily practiced in daily life because we
do in fact have a will of our own; but, I would like to
challenge you think more about Jesus's example in the garden (not
hiding his preference but at the same time releasing it to the Father)
and how beautiful submission can be when we realize that we are
reflecting God when we practice it.